Rondo's Not So Lucky Day
by Khiori
Summary: Never come between a Rizzoli and an Isles. (First story in the Rondo trilogy)


"Oh, no, no, no, no, no! _Korsak!_ "

"What?"

"I told you _not_ to let Rondo talk to Maura! In fact, I was extremely, _extremely_ specific about the _not_ _talking_ part and the _Maura_ part!"

"Jane, relax, it's not like he's a suspect. He can talk to anyone he likes, it's that whole silly First Amendment thing."

"Is that supposed to be _funny?_ I don't care who he talks to, as long as it _isn't Maura!_ "

"Look, Jane, I know that he might be a little off-"

"A _little?_ "

"-but he's not going to hurt her."

" _Ahh!_ That's the _point_ , Korsak! He's a highly skilled schmoozing sweet talker and he's always hitting us up for more money every single time he shows up with info! He's going to take one look at Maura in her Jimmy Choos and see an _easy mark!_ He's going to think it's his _lucky damn day!_ "

"Maura's a smart girl, Jane."

" _Yeah!_ Intellectual smart, analytical smart. Street smart? _Not so much!_ "

"So what if he sweet talks her a little, Jane? He's _homeless_ ; the man could _use_ some cash. Plus, it's not as if Maura can't afford to give away a few dollars."

"Korsak! This is _Maura_ we're talking about here! The woman who gave a _kidney_ to a half sister who was a _complete_ _stranger!_ She's got a Vulcan brain and a career working with dead guys but she's also got the _softest_ heart on the _freaking planet!_ Rondo will give her his big chocolate eyes and charming manners and he'll probably come away with a _401k!_ "

"Jane, you're seriously overreacting here. It's like I need to get you a porch and a shotgun."

"Does the shotgun have slugs or just double-"

"Jane! Look, if it's bothering you this much, why don't you just run them down, get your information from him and get him out of the precinct?"

"You think I haven't already _tried_ that? They're not in the _building!_ "

"Then they're probably just outside, you know how antsy he gets inside here surrounded by cops and perps, the last thing he needs is to get word around that he's talking to us. Just give her a call on your phone."

"Wow, I never thought to use the phone. _Korsak!_ I've already tried seven times and it just keeps going straight to voicemail!"

"Well, maybe they're in her car. You know she won't pick up when she's driving. Maybe she offered him a ride somewhere."

"Oh, _thanks_ , Korsak. I _really_ just needed that mental picture of my crazy CI and the Queen of the Dead cruising around Boston and listening to the Golden Oldies while he sweet talk weasels her into spending her entire Isles inheritance on him!"

"He likes Blues and Maura likes Classical, Jane."

"Korsak, you're _killing_ me here!"

"Jane, take some meditation classes or yoga or something. You really need to learn how to just breathe. Maura was probably just being nice like she usually is and took him to the Dirty Robber. Your mom gives him food to take to his homeless buddies every week. He might have said something and Maura offered to take him. Simple as that."

"Okay, I admit, I hadn't thought of that."

"What are you doing?"

"Calling."

"I thought you just said it was all going to voicemail."

"To _Maura_ , Korsak. I'm calling the _Robber_. Hey, Ma! Is Maura there?"

"Well? Am I right?"

"Maura just walked in. Ma's getting her."

"You owe me a sandwich."

"For _what?_ "

"For having to act like a trainer with a rookie having a panic attack again."

"I _never_ had- _Maura!_ Are you with Rondo? What? _No!_ I don't _care_ if he says he's hungry, you're _not_ to spend time with him!"

"Jane, I can tell you right now that you should hang up."

" _No_ , I'm _not_ trying to tell you what to do-"

"Seriously, Jane, hang up while you've got the chance."

"Because he's freaking _crazy_ is why!"

"Jane, hang up."

" _No_ , he is _not_ just a big sweetheart!"

"Jane."

"He's just trying to _con_ _money_ out of you! Can't you see that?"

"Jane."

" _Maura_ , I swear on all the holy saints sometimes you are the absolute most brilliant _idiot_ in Boston! What's the point of having a big brain if you're not going to actually _use it?_ "

"And too late."

" _What?_ No! _No_ , I did _not_ mean-"

"You are in _so_ much trouble. It would be amusing if I wasn't going to have to deal with the both of you while you're mad at each other again."

" _Yes_ , I _know_ you're smart-"

"Wait a minute, what am I thinking? I've got plenty of leave built up."

" _No_ , I'm _not_ trying to tell you what to do with your money, I'm just-AHHH!"

"Now what happened?"

"She just _hung up_ on me! Can you _believe_ that?"

"Shocker. Jane, what are you doing?"

"What does it _look_ like I'm doing, Korsak? I'm going over there!"

"Yeah, that's a really bad idea."

"Korsak, I need to borrow your car!"

"My car? What happened to _your_ car?"

"It's in the shop."

"Why is it in the shop?"

"What are you my mother now?"

"You hit something again, didn't you?"

"Hey! It wasn't my fault this time! I was trying not to squish some cat! Now are you going to let me use your car or not?"

"Don't make me regret this."

" _Really?_ Do I look _sixteen?_ "

"No, but you drive like it. I'm not kidding, Jane, she's a classic and I like her."

"Korsak! _Give_ me the damn keys, before I hotwire it! _Thank you!_ I tell you what; if I get there and Maura's out more than fifty bucks, Rondo's going to find out just how _Italian_ I am! And if he thinks he's going to all 'Vanilla' me his way out of it, I'm going to rip out his-"

Korsak watched Jane stomp out furiously and shook his head.

" _Honestly_. Sometimes I think Maura's actually got the better people skills of the two."

Then he went and got the request leave form.

And tried not to worry about his poor baby.

Or Rondo who was about to find himself in the worst spot a man could be.

Between a Rizzoli and an Isles.


End file.
